Is He Gay?

Never let a gay man ‘use’ you to try to ‘change‘. Gay men can’t ‘change‘. I don’t care if you look like Carmen fuckin’ Electra, you cannot make a gay man straight! Alot of Christians think being gay is a ‘choice’. That’s why churches are full of gay men trying to change. You need to develop your ‘gaydar’ girlfriend. Not all gay men wear Calvin Klein underwear, walk like a girl and talk with a lisp. Some of them wear levis and cowboy boots. They are truck drivers, rednecks, firemen, cops, construction workers, politicians, teachers, ditch diggers…even preachers. Ted Haggard was the head of one of the biggest congregations in the country. He had a wonderful family and thousands of loyal followers. He preached about the ‘sins of the flesh’ but Ted Haggard was living a lie and was getting his ‘cakes’ baked by a private male escort. To this day that man is still in denial about his sexuality.

There are alot of reasons why gay men marry. Maybe they don’t want to be ‘labeled’, maybe they’re in ‘denial’, or maybe they think they can ‘change’. They can’t. People are ‘born’ gay! One day he’ll leave you for a big stud named Jake. If you think your man is gay…ask him. Don’t ignore the signs. Some gay men are fully functional with a woman, but to be really satisfied they occaisionally need to be with a man. As they get older those occaisions will become more and more frequent.

Look for the signs. If he has more shoes than you do…he might be gay. If you have to fight him for the mirror, he plucks his eyebrows, wears your makeup or uses your vibrator…that beotch ‘is’ gay girlfriend. If his radio is tuned to ’80′s divas’…he might be gay. If he surprises you with tickets to the Cher concert…he might be gay. If they’re front row seats and he knows every word to ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’…he ‘is’ gay beotch. If he seems far away or detached while you’re having sex it’s because he ‘is’. He’s somewhere on a secluded beach with his boyfriend Jake. If he doesn’t like to bury his face in your little gold mine, has trouble getting and maintaining an erection, like to turn off the lights, spends alot of time in the men’s room or you catch him checking out the waiter’s package…he might be gay.

Don’t waste your time with a man who is gay. We make great best friends but lousy husbands. Find yourself a man who is 100% heterosexual. You deserve it girlfriend. Find a man who worships the ground your little gold mine walks on. If your man is gay or bisexual your relationship will not pass the test of time. Remember…it’s alot easier to break up with a boyfriend than a husband.

You can find a good man, a man with character, who is 100% heterosexual and can make your little boat float. You just need to get your game on and listen to your ‘intuition’.

Posted in Advice | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Weight

You have got to quit obsessing about your weight. Chances are your man is not even going to notice your weight unless ‘you’ bring it up. Men don’t care. They look at the whole package. It’s all about how you carry yourself….your ‘aura’…and how you ‘stage’ your little gold mine. Real beauty comes from within. Your aura is the energy you give off with your body language. Your personality, emotions, and life experiences all combine to give off an energy that is easily picked up on by the men you meet. The way you walk, talk, laugh, even cry are all part of what makes up your aura. Do you come off like a ‘lady’ or a ‘tramp‘? Are you ‘classy’ or ‘trashy’? Your aura is way more important than ten or twenty extra pounds. If you give off a good aura and you ‘stage’ your little gold mine you will get some serious bids.

I used to stage open houses to help them sell. The first thing I would do is strip them down. All the knick-knacks and personal baggage like pictures of family, toys, and clutter were packed up and put in a closet. Then I would ‘clean’ the house from the inside out. I might even re-arrange the furniture…take some pieces out. I would put a fruit bowl on the table, light some candles and put on soft music. Fifteen minutes before the clients were due I would put a loaf of bread in the oven. Staging works beotch. If you are properly ‘staged’, your man will not even notice that extra ten pounds you picked up over the holidays.

When it comes down to it you need to keep your weight at a ‘healthy’ level…not too big and not too small. Nobody wants a partner that looks like Star Jones before the surgery…it’s ‘unhealthy’…and nobody wants a bag of bones, but there is a whole lot of wiggle room. Find a weight that is realistic for your body type and allow yourself ten pounds in either direction. It’s all about what makes ‘you’ happy and what makes ‘you’ feel good about yourself. Maybe you need to quit making excuses not to eat right and exercise. It’s not rocket science. It’s not about the newest fad diet. It’s about eating a balanced diet of fresh food and ‘portion’ control. It’s a ‘lifestyle’. Men respect a woman who has her weight under control. You can do it girlfriend. It just takes a little effort.

Nothing will put pressure on your relationship like you obsessing about your weight, and by the way, you can seriously put your health in jeopardy trying to keep up with fashion trends. You need to ignore magazine ads that depict women as stick figures and anorexic actresses on the red carpet. Don’t buy products from companies who ‘airbrush’ their models. It’s part of the reason ya’ll have so many hang-ups.

A well balanced diet includes plenty of fruits and veggies, chicken and fish, occasional red meat and something sweet now and then. Avoid snacking late at night and have a good breakfast. Limit bread and pasta. Above all else…stay hydrated.

Food is a drug beotch and you can get addicted to it. Learn to cook. That way you can control what goes ‘into’ your food and your portions. If you are always eating in restaurants chances are you’re not eating the right things. Besides, they ‘supersize’ everything. These days restaurants serve enough food in one meal to feed two people. That way they can charge you more. Never feel obligated to clean your plate. Eat until you’re full. Never starve and never binge. Eat six small meals a day instead of three heavy meals. Quit eating at least 3 three hours before bedtime unless it’s a light snack. Take your little gold mine for a walk after dinner, or a bike ride, anything to burn a few calories and help digestion. Good sex burns calories.

Never ask a man “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” First of all, it’s not a fair question and second of all, it might draw attention to your big fat ass. Don’t make your man feel responsible for your weight issues. That is something you own girlfriend. It is all yours.

If you’re not feeling good about yourself, if you are not feeling sexy, if you are self- conscious and insecure about your weight…get over it…and then do something about it. Whatever your size, learn to love yourself. Don’t burden others with your weight issues and no matter how big you get, don’t let yourself go. You can still be sexy and put together, you can still smell good, wear nice clothes and do your nails. There is something very attractive about large women who have their shit together. NeNe Leakes is a big woman and she is rockin’ her new look. Now she just needs to work on her aura.

The bottom line is this beotch….you need to eat like a fuckin’ lady and girlfriend, if your man is constantly talking about your weight and putting you down, you need to find yourself a new man.

Marc’s 10 minute salad

1 head of romaine (it’s a type of lettuce dear)
onion
cucumber
olives (black and green)
peppers (pepprocini)
feta cheese
sunflower seeds / croutons

Make this salad on a dinner plate as it is the center of your meal. Never make a salad in a big bowl, it’s not the same. You want to give each salad your individual attention. Never use ‘trailer trash’ lettuce (iceberg). Use romaine or some other dark green leafy lettuce. Wash, drain and break up your lettuce on individual plates. Cut your onion in thin rings. Break the rings up and put a few on each salad. Peel and slice your cucumber and place a few slices in and around your lettuce. Dot with different colored olives and a pepprocini pepper. Sprinkle with feta cheese and sunflower seeds…add a few croutons.

This salad is fabulous and looks gorgeous. It can be served Monday-Friday night. Use your favorite salad dressing and serve with a grilled or broiled meat portion. Serve your meat on a traditional small salad plate. Try to do fish at least twice a week. Salmon and Halibut are excellent on the grill. Twice a week serve your salad with chicken and one night serve it with a grilled steak. Your meat serving should be about the size of the palm of your hand. Never fry your meat and be sure to skin your chicken. Limit you bread intake to no more than one small dinner roll.

I always eat a good breakfast. I love oatmeal and it just takes a minute to make. Add fresh fruit to your oatmeal, like blueberries or raspberries. Oatmeal is fabulous for your skin. Add a little honey to it. Save the big breakfast for Sunday morning. Every man likes to have a big fabulous breakfast on Sunday morning, bacon or sausage, pancakes, eggs, hash browns. You have my permission to pig out on Sunday mornings girlfriend.

At lunch I usually like some kind of sandwich, with chips. I never use mayo on a sandwich. It’s nasty and full of fat. I do use mustard. I always take the top bun off my sandwich Trust me, you won’t miss the top bun and you don’t need the extra bread. You can eat pretty much what you like for lunch but save the burger and fries for the weekend and never super size beotch. It’s so unladylike. Remember, no mayo and take the top bun off. You may have to eat you burger with a knife and fork. I do it all the time.

On weekends I eat pretty much what I want, but I never overdo it. You shouldn’t have to diet on the weekend. Weekends are meant to splurge. I said ‘splurge’…not ‘binge’. There’s a difference. When Monday comes around I’m back on my little diet.

I try to walk for an hour a day. I live near the beach so you can come and walk with me if you want. Don’t walk alone unless you are in a public place and there are lots of people around. Never walk alone after dark. I usually don’t worry about walking on the weekend but my lifestyle is pretty active. I try not to snack late at night, if I do it’s usually something like a bowl of Special K or two to three cookies…never the whole bag.

You can do it girlfriend. If you can stick to my Monday-Friday diet you will lose weight and you will not feel deprived. Be creative. I love to serve hot wings with my salad…or bbq ribs. Remember, the salad should be the focal point.

My last tip is to ‘get a life’. The more you hang around the house the more you’re prone to overeat. Take a walk with the dog. If you don’t have a dog…get one. Go to the bookstore. Start a project. Ride your bike. Roller skate. Do anything that gets you up off the couch and away from the refrigerator.

Posted in Advice, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Depression

I’ve been away for the summer. Just a little R & R. I was in Northern California hiding away in a bungalow…in the redwoods. It was a real good time. I tried to avoid the computer and just sort of get away from it all…you know…go back to a simpler time. Humboldt County is a great place to do it.  While I’ve been gone my girlfriend ‘Sam’ has been having serious problems in her relationship. Her long time boyfriend has been going through some pretty deep depression. She can’t get him off the couch. He’s really been pushing her buttons. He’s lost his spark. They haven’t slept together in months. He even threatened suicide.

A man who is depressed can really bring you down. I am  serious beotch. You do not want a man that is prone to depression. Alot of bad boys are depressed. Brooding,  quiet, moody guys are not easy to live with.

   There is usually a reason why a man is depressed and it could be anything from his job to his relationship with his father.  Whatever it is, he needs to get some help. Depression is not something you can ignore. Men who are depressed are prone to addiction, violence and infidelity.

   There are signs of depression and you need to know them. If your man is sleeping all day, gets angry for no apparent reason, is anti-social, withdrawn or drinking more than    usual…and not interested in sex…he may be depressed.

   If he’s lost his humor…his spark…or breaks out in tears  every other day, that man ‘is‘ depressed. Sometimes depressed men kill themselves. Sometimes they kill their families too. Depression is not something to play around with. If your man is depressed he needs professional help.

   Ask Courtney Love. Her husband Curt Cobain was on top of the world and had the kind of career success that  most rock musicians dream about. He had everything to live for… baby girl, financial security, adoring fans.   But his depression, fueled by drug abuse, got the best of him.  He died of a self inflicted gunshot to the head. He was only 27.

   Depression can affect anyone at any age. A man who is depressed will suck you into his depression. Look…everybody feels down once in a while. Everybody gets the blues. That’s different. Most people can shake it off. But if your man is always down, always seems angry, is always moody  and there is a big dark cloud hanging over your house, you need to do something about it.

   Sometimes a man just needs a wake-up call and the best thing you can do is pack up your little gold mine and go on a trip. Separation makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe he’ll realize once you’re gone how much he loves  you and that he needs professional help. Maybe not. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

   If your man is depressed or suicidal and he refuses to seek professional help you may want to call his mama and put the ball in her court…or his doctor…brother…best friend…anyone who can help. Even then you should be aware that he may ‘never’ snap out of it. If that’s the case, you may need to re-think your relationship.

   Look…I know your marriage vows said ‘in sickness and in health’, but there’s a little thing called ‘self preservation’  that kicks in somewhere between the first argument and    the first beating. There’s that inner voice sometimes known  as ‘intuition’ that you better fine tune and pay close attention to. A woman’s intuition is God given. You deserve happiness girlfriend. Life is too short. Give it your best shot but know when to walk away.

At the first sign of violence…hit the bricks. Never put your little gold mine in danger for a man who is depressed. Depression is a mental illness.

Posted in Advice, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Liars

Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to deceive’.

Truer words were never spoken. If your man is a liar you had better take notice. If he lies to you when you’re dating he will lie to you when you’re married.

There’s a difference between little white lies and big fat lies. A little white lie is “Your ass looks good in those jeans“. Little white lies are designed to not hurt somebody’s feelings and everybody tells them. A big fat lie is ” I’m working late“  when you’re at the  motel drilling some skank’s nasty old gold mine.

If your man is telling you lies about where he’s been, what he’s done, how much money he makes or what happened to the hundred dollars you had stashed under the mattress, it could be a sign of bad things to come. Every time someone tells a lie they put pressure on their relationship.

Lori Hacking disappeared in July 2004. Her husband Mark reported her missing and claimed that she had recently been out jogging in City Creek Canyon just northeast of Salt Lake City. Something about Mark Hacking didn’t ring true from the very beginning. Lori was only twenty-seven years old when she disappeared and she was five months pregnant.

The case drew national attention. Volunteers combed the terrain looking for any sign of Lori Hacking. They found nothing. Meanwhile the police turned their eyes to her husband Mark. It was discovered that on the morning of her disappearance he had purchased a new mattress. Police wanted to know why.

An investigation led authorities to the local dump where they eventually found Lori’s body under a pile of trash, wrapped in a mattress and shot through the head. Faced with evidence that was insurmountable Mark Hacking confessed he shot Lori while she slept to prevent her from uncovering his web of lies. Mark had been lying to Lori for years…about everything. When she was killed, she was planning to move from Salt Lake City to North Carolina where Mark told her he had been accepted into Chapel Hills Medical School. That was a lie. He had never even applied to go there.

Mark Hacking came from a good family. His brothers were all successful and his father expected him to follow in their footsteps. He had been lying to everyone. I guess he was under a lot of pressure because when Lori got wise to his lies, Mark Hacking snapped. He waited until she went to bed, tiptoed into the bedroom, aimed his gun to the back of her head and pulled the trigger. He just wrapped her up in the mattress, dragged her body to the nearest dumpster and threw her away like a sack of trash.

In a statement after his conviction he warned:

“There is no such thing as a harmless lie no matter how small it is. You may think the lie only hurts the liar, but this is far from the truth. If you are traveling a path of lies, please stop now and face the consequences. Whatever those consequences are, they will be better than the pain you are causing yourself and others.”

Mark Hacking pleaded guilty to the murder of Lori Hacking and he now sits in a Utah prison where he has been ordered to serve a sentence of six years to life.

Posted in Pigs, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Make-Up

You are kidding yourself if you think you look good without make-up. Just kidding beotch. You look good, but you could use a little foundation that matches your skin tone.

Very few women look their best without make-up. When it comes to make-up, a little bit goes a long way. You do not need to spend hours in front of the mirror but you do need to spend about ten minutes. Be careful, make-up can make you look ‘classy’ or ‘trashy’. Your make-up should fit the occasion. You have to be very subtle if you wear make-up during the day. You do not want to look like Tammy Faye Baker if you’re going out to lunch with a client…people will make jokes about you.

Unless you have flawless skin, you need to wear a little foundation. A little foundation will even out your skin tone and give you the beautiful complexion you may not have been born with. Use something light and natural…never oily. If you’re lost at the make-up counter ask for help. Make sure you blend your neckline, otherwise it’ll look like you’re wearing a mask.

A little liner on your eyes will define them. Mascara will make them larger. Some color on the eyelid will make them pop. Use color wisely. Go very light to none at work and then ramp it up on the way to the club later. Avoid blues, purples and greens unless you want to look like ‘Mimi‘ from the Drew Carey show. Learn how to do the classic ‘smoky’ eye. It rocks. Play with earth tones.

Your eyebrows can make or break your look. Margaux Hemmingway was famous for her brows. You want them manicured, not plucked clean and drawn on. We already talked about that.

Choose a lipstick that is appropriate for the occasion. Bright reds can make you look all painted up and a little bit trashy, but sometimes you may want to be a little trashy, and that’s okay, as long as you do trashy with class.

Go easy with the blush. You want your blush to look natural, like you have a healthy glow, not like you just stepped off Mt. Everest.

Some women totally over-do their make-up. Don’t be one of them. Remember, classy not trashy. Good make-up takes practice, but you can do it girlfriend. By the way, never ‘tattoo’ make-up on your face unless you want to look like an old hag at the breakfast table.

Landing a man with character is half the battle…keeping him is the other half. Use make-up wisely to enhance your natural beauty. I don’t care if you live on a farm or in a penthouse, a little make-up will make you feel better about yourself.  If you feel better about yourself you will be a better partner, besides, men love women who are feminine and who play their feminine role with grace. They expect you to excuse yourself to the ladies room to powder your nose. It’s part of your mystery. They love it when you wear heels and stockings, are hypnotized by your scent, fantasize about your beautiful nails working their way down to their belt buckle. Why not let them have their fun?

Never let a man dictate what you can or cannot do. That was your father’s job when you were twelve. You are a grown woman. If your man tries to stop you from wearing make-up he has jealousy and control issues. It’s a big red flag…don’t ignore it.

Posted in Trashy or Classy | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Over Exposure

J-Lo

Let’s face it…if your little gold mine has been on the market for too long it will lose it’s value. Sometimes you just need to lay low. Hang with your girlfriends, girlfriend. In real estate if your home has been on the market for longer than six months you are either over priced or you have no curb appeal.

Maybe you just need to take some time off, change your environment or give yourself a new look. Over exposure can make you look a little…well…desperate. Take Jennifer Lopez. She over exposed herself in a series of box office bombs and proved to the world she is not an actress. That beotch was grabbing everything she could get. Even now you can’t turn on the television without seeing Jennifer Lopez hocking everything from perfume to shampoo.  Mariah Carey over exposed her little gold mine in a film called ‘Glitter’. She did not shine in Glitter. An actress is only as good as her last role. You have to pick and choose your projects wisely. Life is all about choices. You want to retain a little ‘mystique‘…be a little ‘hard to get’. You do not want to lay all your cards on the table.

If you find that men are avoiding you like the plague or acting like you have a social disease, ‘something‘ you are doing is not working. Be honest with yourself. Take a good look in the mirror. Don’t be afraid to make some changes. If you always have the same routine, stop at the same coffee shop on your way to work, eat lunch at the same cafe, brouse the same book store, go to the same club, it could be…you’re in a rut. Rock the boat. If you’ve had the same haircut for twenty fuckin’ years, still wear leggings and torn sweat shirts like Jennifer Beals in ‘Flashdance’ and are still listening to ‘Quit Riot’  you might be stuck in a time warp. 

Never sit around waiting for the phone to ring. Get a life. Try new things, go new places, get a new look. Men have very short attention spans. Be fun to be with. Smile more and laugh more. Don’t make finding a man your number one priority. You do not need that kind of pressure. Sometimes Mr Right comes along when you least expect it and men love women who are a little hard to get. Don’t ‘always’ be available.

Posted in Advice, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Sociopath

Scott Peterson

It’s hard to spot a sociopath. They look and act perfectly normal. Scott Petersen is a classic sociopath. He killed his wife Lacy and unborn son Conner without a shred of guilt. To this day he has shown no remorse. A sociopath can be a serial killer or a mass murderer. They often kill their wives and sometimes they kill their children too. A Sociopath is very dangerous. He  has no compassion and feels no guilt. They are pathological liars. They can be very manipulative. They are irresponsible and unreliable. They have promiscuous sex and will cheat on their wives. Men who are sociopaths have shallow emotions and a general incapacity for love. They can be secretive and paranoid. Their ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim. They have an inability to tolerate boredom. They may be reckless, irritable and aggressive. A sociopath thinks he’s smarter than everybody else. Skylar Deleon was  a Hollywood  actor best  known  for his  role on  a popular television show called ‘The Power Rangers’. His life was spiraling out of control when he kidnapped Thomas and Jackie Hawks on board their yacht in 2004. After forcing the Hawks to sign over the title to their boat, he bound and gagged them, tied them to the boat’s anchor and threw them overboard into the Pacific Ocean. Without remorse he was tried, convicted and sent to await execution on California’s death row.

A sociopath has no empathy for the well being others. They can murder without conscience or guilt. Lyle Menendez talked his brother Erik into helping him murder their parents for financial gain. They snuck into the house late one night and shot them both at point blank range with a moss burg 12 gauge shotgun. Father first, as he sat in the family room watching ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’ , was shot in the back of the head. They chased down their mother as she ran to escape, shooting her first in the leg. When she slipped  in her own blood, they  finished  her off  with  a blast to the chest and face. After blowing out their kneecaps to make it look like a mob hit, they casually went to the movie theatre and watched ‘Batman’. In the weeks that followed they went on a spending spree. They were living the high life but were eventually tried and convicted of first degree murder.

The news is filled with men who kill, but if you are street wise you might be able to spot them. Cruelty to animals, a fascination with guns and weaponry, lying, cheating and stealing are all signs that your man may be a sociopath. Jealousy, anger, and a tendency to violence are further clues you cannot afford to ignore. Do not fall victim to a sociopath. He will destroy you and your little gold mine without  guilt or remorse. Listen to your intuition. Look for the signs…..no empathy…no conscience.

Posted in Pigs, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Tit Jobs

Joslyn James

Tits that are stretched so tight you can read the label on the implants will not bounce and jiggle. They will be painful and hurt your back. They will not ‘look’ or ‘feel’ natural. If you are considering implants take a lesson from the thousands of women who have fucked themselves up and show a little self-restraint beotch. Pick out something that won’t double as a flotation device. Take into consideration your body frame. Tell your doctor you want realistic cleavage. Tell him you want ‘tear-drop’ shaped…not ‘snow-cone’.

Joslyn James is a slut so she can get away with her triple D’s.  They’re her ‘money-makers’ …her ‘billboard’…and men ‘are’ suckers for trashy women. Ask Tiger Woods. They’ll ‘fuck’ the bimbo with the big cartoon tits but they’ll ‘marry’ the woman who has style and class. Tiger Woods may want Joslyn James in the bedroom but he wants Ellen Nordegren to be the mother of his children. To keep a man happy you have to be both. It’s a delicate balance.

You want men to notice you…not stare and drool. You want to be comfortable on ‘any’ stage. You could end up being more insecure about your breasts than you ever were. You do not not want to have to explain to every man you date that you’ve had a tit job…not that they would ask…but men can be pigs.

Plastic surgery should be ‘private’…your little secret… otherwise what’s the point? You want to look like you were ‘born’ that way not shaped and molded on some kind of assembly line.

Breast augmentation can go very wrong. Find a good doctor. Spare no expense. Putting foreign objects in your body is not something to take casually. They can end up leaking, hardening, pointing in different directions and looking uneven. Do your research and tell your doctor you want to ‘enhance’ what Mother Nature gave you. Tell him you want to look good in a bathing suit but you don’t want to be a public nuisance. Above all tell him you want tits that jiggle.

Posted in Plastic Surgery | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tattoos

Michelle McGee

Tattoos can make you look ‘hip‘ and ‘current’ or they can make you look like a slut. It has to do with the individual tattoo and the placement of the tattoo on your body. Unless you’re Michelle McGee and you’ve built your career around your tattoos you need to have a little self-restraint beoch. You’ll look hard and worn at forty-five when your shit starts to sag and your tattoos begin to look like they’re melting.

 
If you must tattoo here are a few simple rules. Never tattoo anything on your arms and legs. You don’t want to be mistaken for a gang member and be shot dead in a drive-by shooting. Tattoos on your fingers make you look dumb as a box of rocks. A tattoo on your breast is a little sleazy. You want to be able to ‘cover’ your tattoos and show them on your own terms. The three options are on the back shoulder, the lower back or the groin…just above your little gold mine…to the left or right.
 
When picking your tattoo don’t over do it. Never tattoo a man’s name on your body. If you break up your new boyfriend might not appreciate it.  Never do a lizard or snake or any other kind of serpentine unless you want to look like a Marylyn Manson groupie.  You might as well get contact lenses and wear black lipstick. Always go to a trained professional. You don’t want to look like you got your tattoo in San Quenton. Avoid tattoo artists who free-style, they’re usually not as good as they think they are. Get something feminine…like a butterfly or a rose. Avoid doing ‘memorial’ tattoos or faces. You want your tattoo to look sexy.
 
Remember, a tattoo is permanent. It is a big ordeal to remove and it could leave a scar. Think about it long and hard. It might look cool when you’re twenty-two but you might regret it when your forty-five. If you can’t cover it up it could easily interfere with your career…unless your a slut like Bombshell McGee…or a tattoo artist like Cat Von Dee…then go for it.
 
Posted in Trashy or Classy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mr Right

Tim McGraw

Let’s get real. If you are ever going to find yourself a man with character you need to get your game on. You can’t just put on your ‘daisy dukes’ and march your trailer trash ass, with your big fake titties,  down to the corner of Sunset and Vine and be taken for anything but an old ‘ho’. You need to get some ‘curb appeal’ and create an environment that is conducive to meeting Mr. Right.

If you have the same routine day after day…stop at the same coffee shop, eat lunch at the same cafe, go straight home after work , pop in a TV dinner and hit the sack right after the ‘Joy Behar Show’…you may need to rock the boat. If you’re working at ‘Walmart’ you can just as easily work at ‘Macy’s’. If you are a waitress at ‘Denny’s’ you can just as easily work at ‘Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse’…  you have all the skills.

Your environment ‘is‘ your market. Where you work, where you hang out, who you hang out with, your school, your church and your neighborhood all combine to create a marketplace of men who may want to lease your little gold mine. If you’re on Main Street in your ‘Daisy Dukes’  at that two-bit tavern bent over a pool table you are probably not going to meet the man of your dreams. Faith Hill met her Mr. Right at work. She had no idea she was about to meet the man of her dreams but when her eyes locked on Tim McGraw she instinctively knew that he was a man with character…and the rest is history.

If you live in Wasilla, Alaska your choice in men is going to be pretty limited…ask Bristol Palin. You may want to move your little gold mine to Anchorage. Your environment is one of the keys to your success. Don’t be afraid to shake things up a little bit. Don’t call me at two in the morning crying and eating double stuff Oreos because you can’t find yourself a man if you’re not willing to do what it takes. Get yourself a new haircut, drop ten pounds and find yourself a job where you are rubbing elbows with talented and successful men. Smile more and laugh more. Lighten up. Be fun to be with. Your Mr. Right could be as close as your next fender bender.

Posted in Mr. Right, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment