A lot of women are insecure. Try not to be one of them. Insecurity can play games with your head girlfriend. I’m too fat, too tall, too short, too old. I have big feet, small breasts, wide hips, funny looking ears. Whatever you’re insecurity is….get rid of it. Men do not like women who are insecure. Men like strong confident women who are comfortable in their own skin.  Nothing is worst than a woman who is always putting herself down. Look….you may not be Kiera Knightly, but your little gold mine is very valuable. Real beauty is on the inside and you can ‘develop‘ your inner beauty.

Practice humility. Conceited women are a real turn-off. Men like women who are  a little vulnerable. Men are protectors. They need to feel strong and respected. It’s primal. Don’t take it from them. Hang on to your innocence, it’s a very attractive attribute. Oh, come on biotch you can ‘feign’ a little innocence. Men do not like women who have been around the block too many times.

Don’t be a ‘know-it-all’,  I don’t care if you do have PhD in social science, nothing is more aggravating.  I know it sounds cliché but smile more and laugh more. Be fun to be with. Develop ‘style’ and ‘grace’.  Have a sense of humor. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Ditch the princess crap and avoid being a ‘diva’. Men hate that shit. Nothing is more attractive than a beautiful woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful…if that makes any sense. ‘Conceit’ is ugly girlfriend and you’ll end up living alone with a dozen cats like Jessica Lange in ‘Grey Gardens’.

The last thing you want to be is ‘one of the guys’. It’s cool to be a tomboy if your twelve. Don’t compete with men anywhere but the workplace. Remember, men don’t like women who can kick their ass.

Don’t buy products or magazines that photo shop their models. It’s sets a very bad example and is part of the reason ya’ll have so many hang-ups. Never feel like you have to keep up with the runway models or the red carpet divas. You don’t. We already talked about that. Don’t let Vogue Magazine shape your consciousness.

You can be strong and still be vulnerable. You can be odd and still be beautiful. You can be heavy and still be sexy. It’s all about being secure and comfortable in your own skin. It’s all about having ‘self-esteem’…‘inner’ beauty. I call it the x-factor’. Ask Tyra Banks. If you don’t have the x-factor your film will be dull and lifeless. Insecurity shows. There are strong confident women who may not be considered ‘classic‘ beauties but they have the ‘x-factor’. Meryl Streep, Reece Witherspoon, Kelly Preston, Cate Blanchett, Kelly Clarkson,  Madonna, Diane Keaton, Glenn Close, Oprah, Maria Shriver, Michelle Obama, Sandra Bullock, Chloe Kardashian…the list goes on and on. There are mediocre singers who have become international superstars because they have the ‘x-factor’…Taylor Swift, Shania Twain, Diana Ross, Ashlee Simpson, Katy Perry, Cher to name a few. I mean they sing ‘okay’ but they don’t compare to god-given talent like Jennifer Hudson or Wynonna Judd.

Beauty on the inside ‘magnifies’ beauty on the outside. On the other hand you can look like Kari Ann Peniche (Celebrity Rehab) on the outside but if you’re a hateful bitch your little gold mine will lose its value.

You do not want a man who is superficial, one that always goes for the bleach blonde bimbo with the cartoon tits. He will not give you the emotional support you deserve. Find a man that looks a little bit deeper than your cleavage. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Life is short. We aren’t all going to be rich and famous. Handle yourself with style and grace. Find the beauty within and you will find a man who will cherish you and your little gold mine.

About Marc

Marc lives in South Florida with his partner of 15 years and their little Fox Terrier. He is an advocate for women who have been held back, kicked around or otherwise abused by the men they love. He helps women overcome self-esteem issues brought on by a society that is obsessed with youth and beauty. He is the author of 'Your Little Gold Mine'...a frank discussion about men, sex and relationships...available now on Kindle at or in the paperback version at
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