I’ve been away for the summer. Just a little R & R. I was in Northern California hiding away in a bungalow…in the redwoods. It was a real good time. I tried to avoid the computer and just sort of get away from it all…you know…go back to a simpler time. Humboldt County is a great place to do it.  While I’ve been gone my girlfriend ‘Sam’ has been having serious problems in her relationship. Her long time boyfriend has been going through some pretty deep depression. She can’t get him off the couch. He’s really been pushing her buttons. He’s lost his spark. They haven’t slept together in months. He even threatened suicide.

A man who is depressed can really bring you down. I am  serious beotch. You do not want a man that is prone to depression. Alot of bad boys are depressed. Brooding,  quiet, moody guys are not easy to live with.

   There is usually a reason why a man is depressed and it could be anything from his job to his relationship with his father.  Whatever it is, he needs to get some help. Depression is not something you can ignore. Men who are depressed are prone to addiction, violence and infidelity.

   There are signs of depression and you need to know them. If your man is sleeping all day, gets angry for no apparent reason, is anti-social, withdrawn or drinking more than    usual…and not interested in sex…he may be depressed.

   If he’s lost his humor…his spark…or breaks out in tears  every other day, that man ‘is‘ depressed. Sometimes depressed men kill themselves. Sometimes they kill their families too. Depression is not something to play around with. If your man is depressed he needs professional help.

   Ask Courtney Love. Her husband Curt Cobain was on top of the world and had the kind of career success that  most rock musicians dream about. He had everything to live for… baby girl, financial security, adoring fans.   But his depression, fueled by drug abuse, got the best of him.  He died of a self inflicted gunshot to the head. He was only 27.

   Depression can affect anyone at any age. A man who is depressed will suck you into his depression. Look…everybody feels down once in a while. Everybody gets the blues. That’s different. Most people can shake it off. But if your man is always down, always seems angry, is always moody  and there is a big dark cloud hanging over your house, you need to do something about it.

   Sometimes a man just needs a wake-up call and the best thing you can do is pack up your little gold mine and go on a trip. Separation makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe he’ll realize once you’re gone how much he loves  you and that he needs professional help. Maybe not. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

   If your man is depressed or suicidal and he refuses to seek professional help you may want to call his mama and put the ball in her court…or his doctor…brother…best friend…anyone who can help. Even then you should be aware that he may ‘never’ snap out of it. If that’s the case, you may need to re-think your relationship.

   Look…I know your marriage vows said ‘in sickness and in health’, but there’s a little thing called ‘self preservation’  that kicks in somewhere between the first argument and    the first beating. There’s that inner voice sometimes known  as ‘intuition’ that you better fine tune and pay close attention to. A woman’s intuition is God given. You deserve happiness girlfriend. Life is too short. Give it your best shot but know when to walk away.

At the first sign of violence…hit the bricks. Never put your little gold mine in danger for a man who is depressed. Depression is a mental illness.

About Marc

Marc lives in South Florida with his partner of 15 years and their little Fox Terrier. He is an advocate for women who have been held back, kicked around or otherwise abused by the men they love. He helps women overcome self-esteem issues brought on by a society that is obsessed with youth and beauty. He is the author of 'Your Little Gold Mine'...a frank discussion about men, sex and relationships...available now on Kindle at or in the paperback version at
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