You have got to quit obsessing about your weight. Chances are your man is not even going to notice your weight unless ‘you’ bring it up. Men don’t care. They look at the whole package. It’s all about how you carry yourself….your ‘aura’…and how you ‘stage’ your little gold mine. Real beauty comes from within. Your aura is the energy you give off with your body language. Your personality, emotions, and life experiences all combine to give off an energy that is easily picked up on by the men you meet. The way you walk, talk, laugh, even cry are all part of what makes up your aura. Do you come off like a ‘lady’ or a ‘tramp‘? Are you ‘classy’ or ‘trashy’? Your aura is way more important than ten or twenty extra pounds. If you give off a good aura and you ‘stage’ your little gold mine you will get some serious bids.

When it comes down to it you need to keep your weight at a ‘healthy’ level…not too big and not too small. Nobody wants a partner who is morbidly obese…it’s ‘unhealthy’…and nobody wants a bag of bones but there is a whole lot of wiggle room. Find a weight that is realistic for your body type and allow yourself ten pounds in either direction. It’s all about what makes ‘you’ happy and what makes ‘you’ feel good about yourself. Maybe you need to quit making excuses not to eat right and exercise. It’s not rocket science. It’s not about the newest fad diet. It’s about eating a balanced diet of fresh food and ‘portion’ control. It’s a ‘lifestyle’. Men respect a woman who has her weight under control. You can do it girlfriend. It just takes a little effort.

Nothing will put pressure on your relationship like you obsessing about your weight, and by the way, you can seriously put your health in jeopardy trying to keep up with fashion trends. You need to ignore magazine ads that depict women as stick figures and anorexic actresses on the red carpet. Don’t buy products from companies who ‘airbrush’ their models. It’s part of the reason ya’ll have so many hang-ups.

A well balanced diet includes plenty of fruits and veggies, chicken and fish, occasional red meat and something sweet now and then. Avoid snacking late at night and have a good breakfast. Limit bread and pasta. Above all else…stay hydrated.

Food is a drug girlfriend and you can get addicted to it. Learn to cook. That way you can control what goes ‘into’ your food and your portions. If you are always eating in restaurants chances are you’re not eating the right things. Eat six small meals a day instead of three heavy meals. Take your little gold mine for a walk after dinner, or a bike ride, anything to burn a few calories and help digestion. Good sex burns calories.

If you’re not feeling good about yourself, if you are not feeling sexy, if you are self- conscious and insecure about your weight…get over it…and then do something about it. Whatever your size, learn to love yourself. Don’t burden others with your weight issues and no matter how big you get, don’t let yourself go. You can still be sexy and put together, you can still smell good, wear nice clothes and do your nails. There is something very attractive about big women who have their shit together. NeNe Leakes is a big woman and she is rockin’ her new look. Now she just needs to work on her aura.

The bottom line is this….you need to eat like a fuckin’ lady and girlfriend, if your man is constantly talking about your weight and putting you down, you need to find yourself a new man.

Marc’s 10 minute salad

1 head of romaine (it’s a type of lettuce dear)
olives (black and green)
peppers (pepprocini)
feta cheese
sunflower seeds / croutons

Make this salad on a dinner plate as it is the center of your meal. Never make a salad in a big bowl, it’s not the same. You want to give each salad your individual attention. Never use ‘trailer trash’ lettuce (iceberg). Use romaine or some other dark green leafy lettuce. Wash, drain and break up your lettuce on individual plates. Cut your onion in thin rings. Break the rings up and put a few on each salad. Peel and slice your cucumber and place a few slices in and around your lettuce. Dot with different colored olives and a pepprocini pepper. Sprinkle with feta cheese and sunflower seeds…add a few croutons.

This salad is fabulous and looks gorgeous. It can be served Monday-Friday night. Use your favorite salad dressing and serve with a grilled or broiled meat portion. Serve your meat on a traditional small salad plate. Try to do fish at least twice a week. Salmon and Halibut are excellent on the grill. Twice a week serve your salad with chicken and one night serve it with a grilled steak. Your meat serving should be about the size of the palm of your hand. Never fry your meat and be sure to skin your chicken. Limit you bread intake to no more than one small dinner roll.

I always eat a good breakfast. I love oatmeal and it just takes a minute to make. Add fresh fruit to your oatmeal, like blueberries or raspberries. Oatmeal is fabulous for your skin. Add a little honey to it. Save the big breakfast for Sunday morning. Every man likes to have a big fabulous breakfast on Sunday morning, bacon or sausage, pancakes, eggs, hash browns. You have my permission to pig out on Sunday mornings girlfriend.

At lunch I usually like some kind of sandwich, with chips. I never use mayo on a sandwich. It’s nasty and full of fat. I do use mustard. I always take the top bun off my sandwich Trust me, you won’t miss the top bun and you don’t need the extra bread. You can eat pretty much what you like for lunch but save the burger and fries for the weekend and never super size beotch. It’s so unladylike. Remember, no mayo and take the top bun off. You may have to eat you burger with a knife and fork. I do it all the time.

On weekends I eat pretty much what I want, but I never overdo it. You shouldn’t have to diet on the weekend. Weekends are meant to splurge. I said ‘splurge’…not ‘binge’. There’s a difference. When Monday comes around I’m back on my little diet.

I try to walk for an hour a day. I live near the beach so you can come and walk with me if you want. Don’t walk alone unless you are in a public place and there are lots of people around. Never walk alone after dark. I usually don’t worry about walking on the weekend but my lifestyle is pretty active. I try not to snack late at night, if I do it’s usually something like a bowl of Special K or two to three cookies…never the whole bag.

You can do it girlfriend. If you can stick to my Monday-Friday diet you will lose weight and you will not feel deprived. Be creative. I love to serve hot wings with my salad…or bbq ribs. Remember, the salad should be the focal point.

My last tip is to ‘get a life’. The more you hang around the house the more you’re prone to overeat. Take a walk with the dog. If you don’t have a dog…get one. Go to the bookstore. Start a project. Ride your bike. Roller skate. Do anything that gets you up off the couch and away from the refrigerator.

About Marc

Marc lives in South Florida with his partner of 15 years and their little Fox Terrier. He is an advocate for women who have been held back, kicked around or otherwise abused by the men they love. He helps women overcome self-esteem issues brought on by a society that is obsessed with youth and beauty. He is the author of 'Your Little Gold Mine'...a frank discussion about men, sex and relationships...available now on Kindle at Amazon.com or in the paperback version at www.createspace.com.
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