Husbands

Jesse James

Husbands are over rated. Joking again. But you do ‘not’ need a husband to make you happy…grow up girlfriend! Times have changed. We are no longer in the dark ages. Women have won their independence. Never settle for anything less than a man with character. Too many women settle. You do not have the time to waste on a husband that’s lazy, depressed, abusive, possessive, jealous, dishonest or just plain sleazy. Don’t throw away the best years of your life.

Never have children with a man unless you want to be tied to his hip…forever. Choosing a husband is serious business. You want to get it right the first time. You are inviting a man to join your family. You have a responsibility to ‘them’ not to pick a loser. It is selfish for you to think you will not be putting your entire family at risk if you bring home a sociopath or a con man. Besides, it’s painful for family members to watch their loved one  being abused in a relationship.

Sylvia Pardo thought she was doing the right thing when she agreed to marry her husband Bruce. She had no idea he was a sociopath. He seemed like a good Christian man. The night he killed her and her parents was Christmas Eve 2008. He had just finished volunteering at the church. In fact he was still wearing his Santa costume when he knocked on the door of the family Christmas party and opened fire. He killed nine people that night.

It takes time to get to know someone. Don’t be so fuckin’ gullible. If you are getting serious with a man you need to do a ‘background’ and a ‘credit’ check. We are in the computer age girlfriend. Take advantage of the fact that you can go online and find out if he’s a registered sex offender or a deadbeat dad. You do not want to find out he just had his Lexus repossessed or that his credit cards are three months overdue. You have all this information at your fingertips. Technology is a wonderful thing. It gives you an advantage your mother and grandmother didn’t have. Use it!

Men can be pigs. Some of them think they are God’s gift to women…like Jesse James. They will look you straight in the eye and lie through their teeth. They’ll try to drill your sister, your bff, the girl next door, your mama…whoever gives them that ‘come fuck me’ look. Men who cheat cannot be trusted…ask Marianne Gingrich. If your man has a stake in every little gold mine in town you need to ditch that pig and find yourself a real man.

A ‘con’ man will steal every dime you have in the bank. He’ll strip your little gold mine and leave you penniless. If you’ve done a background and a credit check you shouldn’t have to worry about that. Rose Anglade from Ft Lauderdale wasn’t so lucky. She lost her life savings to the man she was engaged to marry. She must have forgot to do a background check, because if she had she would have discovered that Paul Francois had a whole separate life up in New York City. He was even engaged to marry someone else. It turned out he was stealing money from her too. They nailed his ass but it was too late for Rose and she lost her home.

One of the biggest reasons marriages fail these days besides money problems is because  a lot of women marry too young. Eighteen years old is too young to marry.  Don’t sigh and roll your eyes at me beotch. You will be a much better judge of men when you are say…twenty five, besides, you need those years from eighteen to twenty-five to find yourself, grow into a woman, get educated and sow some wild fuckin’ oats. Look…I know when you’re eighteen years old you think you know it all…you don’t. You haven’t even experienced ‘real’ life yet. You’re still wet behind the ears, I don’t care if you did fuck every guy on the football team. There are over three billion men on the planet. Don’t be so quick to jump into bed with the boy next door. Don’t be so quick to set yourself up for a life of economic hardship with some ‘loser’ just because he’s six feet tall and has a cute smile. Take your time. You never really get to know a man until you’ve lived with him. That can be a real eye opener girlfriend. Some men have nasty habits. You do not want a man that neglects himself or lives in a pig sty. Nothing is a bigger deal breaker. Some little habits are just annoying, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste or forgetting to put down the toilet seat. He may drop his clothes on the floor and expect you to pick them up. You might be willing to do it at first but you are setting a dangerous precedent if you do.

It all boils down to ‘respect’. You need a man who respects you ‘and’ your shared space, one that picks up after himself and showers before he crawls into bed with you. It’s the little things that can make or break a marriage. It’s the little things that can end up making your skin crawl and leave you headed for divorce court.

You need a man who is financially responsible. A man who knows how to make a living, balance a checkbook, take out the trash. He should at least be able to fix a leaky toilet, know how to load a dishwasher and do a load of laundry. He should be man enough to defend you from predators but sensible enough not to pick a fight with every guy that glances at your ass. A sense of humor is critical but a prankster can get you into trouble. He should be cool headed with an even temperament. Above all he needs to worship the ground your little gold mine walks on.

 Famously good husbands:

 John Travolta, Tom Hanks, Seal, Kevin Bacon, Ron Howard, Bill Gates, Jerry Seinfeld, George Bush, Will Smith, Tom Brokaw, Tim McGraw, Regis Philbin, Paul McCartney, Denzel Washington,  Alan Jackson ,  Barack Obama

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